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By , on July 2nd, 2010%
Most relationship dragons are just big brutes with no subtlety to them at all. They will just defiantly stand in the middle of your path to Happily Ever After – daring you to try and get past them.Regrettably, you are probably familiar with many of them. Ones like Jealousy, Doubt, Suspicion, Breakpoint, Reality, Illogical Infatuation, Loneliness, Depression, Failure, Ending, Restarting. Unfortunately, you may have already spotted these species more than once on your own path to Happily Ever After.
But there are other dragons which are much more sneaky and can even seem like pets that want to tag along on your journey – being part of Happily Here & Now.
The Dragons Section of Efficient Love is designed to help you spot even these better-camouflaged varmints. Below are listed 18 of the Sneaky Ones. Three of these are offered as samples by clicking on the dragons shown in red or the links shown above.
- The Inert Chemistry Dragon
- The Fill-in-the-Blank
- Projection Dragon
- The Kid-in-a-Candy-Store Dragon
- The Rejection Dragon
- The Flame-Broiled Dragon
- The Waylaid Dragon
- The Deceit Dragon
- The Distance Dragon
- The Winner-Is Dragon
- The Kiddo Dragon
- The Recycle Dragon
- The Speed Dragon
- The No-Right-to-Choose Dragon
- The Dollar Dragon
- The No-I-Am-Not-Going-to-Use-Your-Method Dragon
- The Monogamy and Commitment Dragon
- The Deranged Dragon
But remember all dragons, big and small, have but one major goal in their pesky lives: to distract you and to interfere in any and every way possible with your enjoyment of a genuine Happily Here & Now – knowing without that, they have successfully blocked your path to Happily Ever After.
Tags: projection, Failure, Commitment, candy, No, Broiled, journey <BR/>
By , on July 2nd, 2010%
Or, is it love, monogamy, sex? Or, monogamy, love, sex? Or, love, sex, monogamy? Or, monogamy, sex, love? Or, sex, monogamy, love?
What do you think is the right order of these? Are you sure? Since we are talking about long-term relationships that might last till Happily Ever After, the answer here is NOT sex, sex, sex.
Those are the sex, err six, choices you have with each new relationship. And, how important sex is to each of you will probably affect your ordering and timing of the three issues.
Without a doubt, sex with someone you totally love and adore – with both matching each other’s Profane List Two – is THE best. There is nothing on earth that comes close to it. On a scale of 1 to 10 – it is a 200!
But…
If you are a very sexual person, you will probably want to know from your Hero or Heroine prospect that there is a very close match to virtually all of your own sexual Profane List Two items that you enjoy, need and want. And, if you understand the concepts discussed in the book, Efficient Love, you will also require that you know you match and totally satisfy your Hero or Heroine’s particular needs and wants on their Profane List Two at least as closely.
My research shows that unless there is a VERY close two-way sexual match, you will end up with major conflicts galore, day in and day out.
Imagine, for instance, you have GREAT chemistry with a man who was a wonderful match with everything on both of your Lists One – only to find out, AFTER you had given your heart and fallen in love, that he was boring in bed, or had no interest in your pleasure, or wanted sex only once a month, or gave you sex that only lasted 22 seconds, etc. (modify the picture to deny you whatever may be your own personal, most-needed sexual desires and requirements).
Even though you might love him dearly, and you might try to convince yourself that your sexual needs were less important than the love you shared, it is probably likely that at some point, the relationship would become very incomplete to you – and not be the match you thought had been made in Heaven. Maybe with the love eroding from the resulting friction.
If you are very strongly sexual, it might make a LOT more sense to make sure there is a MUTUAL sexual match from the very beginning of a relationship – before you fell in love.
The Profound List One is the starting point and without an HONEST match there, the rest is irrelevant and probably sex should be avoided – unless you want to get waylaid on purpose.
But, if List One is a great match and the Profane List, the sexual List Two, APPEARS on sheets of paper to be a match – it probably doesn’t make sense to delay sex on sheets of cloth until AFTER you were in love. After all, you need a way to validate the paper version of the Profane List Two to make sure there is no ambiguity. Using LOTS of validation!
So, maybe sex, love, monogamy makes sense as the right order for you, after all. Or, is it sex, monogamy, love?
Bear in mind that there is another thing that will happen with this ordering after you have sex. Some new chemistry WILL come into play in your relationship from all your playing and coming.
Tags: interest, chemistry, beginning, monogamy, friction, nothing on earth, long term relationships <BR/>
By , on July 2nd, 2010% Like a diamond, we all have multiple facets that reflect different parts of who we are. Some of us are even brilliant-cut and have 58 facets…..some of us have less…some of us have more. If both you and your prospective lover are both brilliant, then between you, you’re going to have 116 facets of history, wants, wishes and needs to mutually investigate before you even know if you both should take the next relationship step together.
If you were romantically interested in someone, wouldn’t it be nice to have five dates worth of information and relationship foreplay about that person – and in a form that you can read in only 5 minutes – before you ever meet?
Facet Foreplay
If you are single and seriously seeking a mutually perfect match, it is going to be a VERY time consuming effort. Yeah, I know. You heard it here first. And, every possible relationship, no matter how fleeting or casual, takes precious time. If you have already learned the benefits of expanding your Known Universe with online dating sites and other cyber activities, you are probably already bogged down with too many choices.
Do you get tired of repeating both the inane first meeting, real and/or online, chit chat AND re-telling all those prospects the same important parts of your life? So do I. That’s why I developed my own Top Two Dozen Facets List when my Quest was active. I had a private page that listed the top two dozen introductory facets about me that any prospective Heroine should know if we were going to share our path to Happily Ever After together. In five minutes she could have learned more about me than she knew about her last three lovers – combined!
Back then, if you and I were interested in meeting, I would show you my private page and would want to know the two dozen MOST important things I should FIRST know about YOU…and not just the stuff in a “sales brochure”…but even the important, possibly negative, stuff about you that I should know up front if we were to share a path to Happily Ever After together. This would help us both avoid the “Oh, by the way…” kinds of jarring disclosures after one or both hearts get involved – that should have been made up front.
Time IS So Precious
There are several examples of these two dozen topics in my book, Efficient Love. OK. So, it might take you an hour or so to type all this stuff up in Microsoft Word – especially since you should probably have at least a paragraph or two or three about each facet that is important to you. But once you develop your Facet Foreplay List and save it as a file, think how much time it will save you from repeating all this stuff umpteen times! Not to mention all the wasted time you will save from covering all this stuff up front before you invest effort and emotion in a relationship that is an obvious dead-end. Once you have invested the time in typing out your Facet Foreplay List you got it – to email to anyone who is interested in you….or if you are interested in them.
Remember, this Domain is all about Efficient Love…and Facet Foreplay is the obvious place to start. If you think about it, it seems kind of dumb NOT to have this already put together for yourself and to insist on it for all of your prospects, doesn’t it?
Get a copy of Efficient Love and get started today!
Tags: worth, emotion, List, precious time, first meeting, Matter <BR/>
By , on July 2nd, 2010% Five Years from Today WILL Happen. No Matter What You Do — Or Don’t Do.
Think about you and what you REALLY want. How do you want your Hero or Heroine to participate and share in your day in day out life? Does your Soulmate Applicant envision the same lifestyle and goals that you do? If they don’t, and there are major differences of opinion between you, then it can be a ticking time bomb that might destroy the relationship.
I’d like to share with you a valuable thought process that is part of The Good-Man Methodology that might give you some critical insights into your personal future. The questions are very simple. It’s the answers that will affect the rest of your life. Answers that will also help you have a meaningful dialog with your Hero or Heroine to help ensure you are both heading down the same path to Happily Ever After.
Try to realistically project, in writing, as much detail as possible for a typical day in your life five years from today. Picture a typical day — the way you really want it. The more details you can include, the better the image will be of what you really want to work toward. And have your Soulmate Applicant do the same — independently — to make sure that both visions are unshaded and true.
I’m not talking about fantasy. But I’m also not talking about a simple extension of what your life is now. Instead, do a zero-based projection — starting from scratch — that would be realistic for you. With your real preferences as the important parts of a typical day in your life.
My book, Efficient Love, has 70 questions to guide you on developing your own very personal plan.
There are, of course, no wrong answers to any of these questions. Just different answers. But, short of catastrophe, five years from now WILL happen. And you get to choose the direction and the destination you want. The journey has already started.
Figure out where you are right now. Then, decide what you have to do, what you have to change, to end up at the destination you really want. With the Soulmate who wants the same things.
Remember, if you want to end up someplace West, does it make sense for you to keep heading East?
Tags: lifestyle, Don't Do, thought process, sense, extension, Love, good man <BR/>
By , on July 2nd, 2010% I just completed setting up a new blog that has but one purpose: to help everyone accurately predict their own personal five year future.
Hope Is Having A “Point B”
As many of you may already know, I have two apparently disparate careers: one, as an internationally-known management consultant to start up and emerging companies – two, as a relationship expert and published author of a book called, “Efficient Love.”
Even though this combination may seem strange, these two parallel careers are really not as dissimilar as they might first appear.
As a matter of fact, these two different personal focal points I have share a common, passionate mission of mine: Helping people get from their current Point A to their desired Point B – for both their personal life and their business life.
I want to help you finally define the right-for-you Point B for your life – there is absolutely no cost, no obligation – just my best wishes that you find your Point B sooner than later.
The premise of my personal mission is: If folks will freely choose and fully define their DESIRED Point B, they are much more likely to reach their DESIRED Point B.
I use the Five Year Life Quiz as a starting point for most all of my consulting clients — whether it’s for Efficient Love or my management consulting related to starting or growing a company. Until I know my clients’ real and personal Point B, I can’t fully understand how to give them the very best help possible.
But beyond this business use, I strongly believe that everyone can greatly benefit from this methodology. Every man, woman and near-adult child can use this basic approach to more fully take control of their own lives.
I’ve been using this Quiz with business clients and relationship clients alike for the past dozen years. During that time, it has been gratifying to see the overwhelming, positive impact it has had on so many folks.
Because of these successes, I already know this process can help those who approach it with an open mind.
Because these issues are so important to virtually everyone’s life, I want to offer this Five Year Life Workbook as a free gift to everyone – so you can realistically take control of your life and find the congruent path to your own fulfilling personal Point B.
It is my way of “paying it forward” to the world — whether we ever do business together or not. Even if there is less than a zero chance we will ever work together – I still want you to grab this Quiz for YOU!
If this Quiz even helps you have one insight that will help you get more quickly to YOUR desired Point B, then that is all the reward I want.
If you want to know more, or download the Workbook for free, just click Five Year Life.
Tags: B.
I, Process, methodology <BR/>
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